How much does it cost to raise a child in Thailand?
A study on Price of Having a Child When Child Raising Affects Career by the Mahidol University’s Institute for Population and Social Research reveals that Thai families pay a “high price” for having children. Women, in particular, shoulder much of the cost as they more often than not have to sacrifice their career prospects and life security to fulfill their role as a mother and family carer.
“On-uma Vattanasuk”, Head of Corporate Communications and PR at True Corporation Plc, says she is always determined to excel both as a “mother” and as an “executive” though. What obstacles has she beaten to come this far? And in her view, has gender equality prospered in Thailand now?
Experience (of sexual harassment)
On-uma has embraced “can-do attitudes” since she was a young girl. Backed by her fierce determination, she has never wavered from her goal either. She studied at the prestigious Triamudom Suksa School before furthering her education in the “international relations” field at the Chulalongkorn University’s Faculty of Political Science, where incubated her strategic thinking and managing power relations skills together with journalistic framework.
Loving challenges, most IR graduates have pursued a career at the Foreign Affairs Ministry. But On-uma began her career at a “newsroom”. Her first job was being a foreign-news reporter at Channel 7 TV station, where she received not just good opportunities but also a diverse range of experiences including bad ones.
“One of the incidents that are still vivid in my memory is about a news source asking me to be his ‘mistress’,” On-uma said. From her experience, so many women have faced sexual harassment at workplaces because some men just don’t show respect, lack professionalism, and enjoy the influence of patriarchal society.
At the age of 26, On-uma landed a new job at the globe’s leading IT firm, IBM, as a communications specialist. The firm expanded her horizons and enhanced her understanding of gender equality. Its “corporate system” enabled women to advance just like men on their career path. To illustrate, IBM once implemented women empowerment program – Taking the Stage – allowing female employees of IBM demonstrate their leadership via “structured discussions”. The program, moreover, gave IBM women around the world opportunities to connect and with solidarity show their strengths.
Female role models in the program let other women know solutions existed. Women of course faced various challenges under various circumstances. Some women had to be devoted mothers at the time they also had to work hard as executives. Some others needed to build their career at the time their own mother became bedridden. Some, meanwhile, must deal with the challenge of maintaining long-distance relationships with their spouse.
“The program’s activities showed career paths of women who climbed to executive levels. Anyone can go that far if she is determined and believes in her potential enough,” On-uma said.
Child or Career: Women at a Crossroad?
As On-uma was turning 30, she decided to start a family. At the time she was pregnant with her first child, she worked as a program manager. “Pregnancy” caused her much trouble because hormonal-level changes kept her awake at night. During the day, she felt so sleepy but knew she had to work.
Despite that problem, she had never used “pregnancy” to excuse herself from her job responsibilities. Every day till the day of her scheduled Cesarian section, she travelled to work by Skytrain. She even carried a projector around with her.
That chapter, so far, is just an overture to “motherhood”.
After giving birth to her first child and returning to her home, On-uma found out that despite full preparations, things did not flow smoothly. She used to think she had already prepared everything to ensure that she could be a good “employee, wife, and mother”. But as a breastfeeding mother, she struggled hard with inadequate rest. Her baby wanted to be breastfed both during the day and during the night. Worse still, because she could produce just little breast milk, her baby sucked so hard that her breast bled. She “endured the pain” from the wound during her recovery from the Cesarean section.
The World Health Organization reports that about 13 per cent of new mothers suffer from “Baby Blue”, which is triggered by abrupt changes in hormonal level. On-uma ranks among the 13 per cent. So, her motherhood comes with both physical and emotional pain.
“Women need to think carefully as to how to handle the physical and emotional challenges during and after pregnancy,” said On-uma, who is now a mother of two.
As a working mom, On-uma believes with all her heart that women can be successful in their career as well as in their family life if they have self-organizing skill, which requires their tripled or quadrupled efforts.
“Women need to think carefully as to how to handle the physical and emotional challenges during and after pregnancy,” said On-uma, who is now a mother of two.
“Most nursing mothers pass on the burden of raising their kid to their mother, mother-in-law, or maid. But that’s kind of a trap,” On-uma said. In her case, she raised her kids by herself out of beliefs that children should always be parts of their mother’s life. However, On-uma does not believe that her children are everything in her life. She also thinks fathers should participate in child-raising activities as much as mothers. She cautioned women against singlehandedly raising their children just because conventional concept expects them to.
On-uma’s advice to new mothers is that they should live their life as well. After childbirth wound heals completely, they should exercise, eat well, and reward themselves. It is necessary to reboot confidence and go back to work. That’s how they should organize their life.
“Having children” does not mean women must give up their major life goal. Mothers need to “love themselves” too. They must remember that children will finally want a mother whom they can look up to. Children will hope that their mother can be both their inspiration and their role model.
“Having children” does not mean women must give up their major life goal. Mothers need to “love themselves” too. They must remember that children will finally want a mother whom they can look up to. Children will hope that their mother can be both their inspiration and their role model.
Turn Weaknesses into Strengths: Upgraded Leadership
Men and women are different by nature. Yet, women do not need to bow down because their perceived weaknesses can in fact be blessings. If they use those qualities well, they will become stronger. Women empowerment can be done via:
1. Life Ambition Setting: All women should be able to analyze themselves, know their weaknesses as well as strengths, think ahead, and expand their horizons.
A life goal can be anything. It does not have to be grand. Just set the goal first because that’s how one learns to look ahead. On-uma believes that life ambition dynamically changes over time in response to changing contexts, new interests, and new experiences.
All women should be able to analyze themselves, know their weaknesses as well as strengths, think ahead, and expand their horizons.
“Women should be well-prepared, because that’s how they can grab an opportunity when it arises,” On-uma repeated a piece of advice she received from a former executive of IBM.
“By the way, women should not just wait for opportunities to arrive. They should actively create opportunities themselves as well,” On-uma added herself.
2. Leadership Competency Building: Women can work as executives and lead organizations as well as men do when female weaknesses are leveraged as uniqueness. Below are good examples:
- Empathetic Leader: Women can win the hearts of others because they listen more and understand more. They, moreover, usually have resilience and perseverance.
- Influential Collaboration: Because women are generally friendly and approachable, their character is conducive to unity and agenda setting at workplaces. Such atmosphere can clearly lead to positive changes in the end.
- Lead with Impact: Impact generation is at the heart of leadership, in On-uma’s view.
Apparently, it is by no means easy for women to achieve success in both career and personal life. It takes self-motivation, self-improvement and self-rewarding to fly that high.
Trust in Women’s Potential
On-uma believes Thailand has made gender-based improvement throughout the past several decades. But Thai women have still struggled with both individual and structural problems related to physical attributes, prevailing patriarchal attitudes, and occupationally related sexual stereotypes today. Many women are themselves trapped by traditional mindsets. They, for example, feel they should become housewives or give up their career prospects for their motherly role. To On-uma, Thai women need to have firm determination and show their potential for them to prosper.
“Diversity is not just a trend. It’s now a culture. So, all women should play a role and contribute,” On-uma emphasized. She added that it was extremely necessary that women empower and inspire one another for better changes. According to On-uma, all working women have an important role to play in pushing for progressive policies and driving cultural / value transition for a more modern society for the future generations.
